Goodbye 2018, Hello to Trusting God's Goodness

I didn't intend for this to be a "New Year's Reflection" post, but alas, it is. I'm just going to share what I wrote in my journal today, I hope it resonates with you.

12.30.18

I feel compelled to share my thoughts and revelations as of late but as I sit to write, they are a mash of unfinished thoughts and excitements swirling around in my heard, refusing to connect or organize. I am tired and I need a nap, but while my son is napping I want to take this time to write. I want to record these thoughts so I do not forget them when they are needed. Holy Spirit, please work in me to organize what I am trying to communicate.

Today during, church, I teared up because suddenly I was overcome with the overwhelming feeling of gratefulness for how blessed I am. I am free to worship in a church, that is decorated beautifully for Christmas, with other believers who are kind and caring. It dawned on me just the other day, that I pray for blessing and protection daily, and you know what? God has blessed me and and protected me and my family, DAILY, this year. Month after month, I reflect on God's answered prayers and have overlooked the huge one that God has answered for me every day. I have been praying for blessing and protections as a response to fear of a future attack while overlooking and taking for granted the fact that God has been doing that in my life, DAILY.

God has also been faithful to reveal himself to me in new and exciting ways this year. It has been a year of learning to trust God. I struggle with conflicting emotions. I daily recognize that I am so unbelievably blessed and filled with joy at that, and also, at the same time, filled with incredible sadness and fear and confusion about what is going on in our world. I want God to use me and to do great things for Him, and yet at the same time I just want to be comfortable and at peace in my little safe bubble.

I have been feeling guilty over my lack of trust in God. I BEG for His protection every day and I am terrified of something horrible happening to my family. A few weeks go, I was listening to a Proverbs 31 Ministries podcast, lead by Lysa Teurkerst and something jumped out at me. Do you know who else was terrified and BEGGED God to take the cup from him? Jesus. In the garden of Gesthemane, just before Jesus was taken into custody to die a brutal death on the cross, he prayed and begged God for another way, for a less painful way, and easier way, a safer way. But he ultimately prayed for God's will to be done and He was obedient, even to the point of death on a cross.

God is not condemning me for wanting a safe, peaceful, comfortable life -- He want's the best possible life for us too. But because we live in an imperfect world, sometimes he might allow hurt in our lives in order to make us better and to prepare us for the perfect world He intended for us. Sometimes it might be hurt so unbearable, we will never understand it in this lifetime. But I know this, as much as I want peace and comfort in this life, I want God's will for my life and this world, because I know God is good. So this year I choose to trust in the LORD no matter what comes my way -- the good, the bad, and the ugly. That doesn't mean that I am always going to like or understand it, but I will trust.

My pastor spoke this morning on having "Chazown" or vision in our lives. He shared and incredible prayer by Sir Francis Drake:

I do not want to think small. I do not want underestimate what is possible. The Disney Princess in my sings at the top of her lungs "I want adventure in the great wide somewhere!" Would Belle have gotten her fairy tale ending if her father had not been imprisoned by the beast? Would she have had a happy ending if she had not sacrificed and pushed through and persevered to get to know the beast? No!

God, unsettle me this year, give me adventure in the great wide somewhere (which may just be trying to potty train a toddler this year, but that's OK too!) but most importantly, create in my a pure heart, who longs for you and your will, and trusts in you. Amen.

Happy New Year!

Mr. Rogers Inspired 1st Birthday Party!

This post is several month's old, but we are headed to my niece's birthday party today, and this has been sitting in my drafts for quite a while now. Baby's taking a nap so I decided to go for it.
Welcome to Baby's 1st birthday party!
I chose to do a "Mr. Roger's" themed party because of his wonderful positivity and this awesome quote:

Originally I had all of these cute ideas for a "Pinterest" worthy party, as I was feeling the pressure to live up to the super adorable themed parties friends had recently thrown for their kiddos, but alas, I just didn't have the time or the energy to make everything happen.
I was feeling disappointed that all of my ideas weren't going to come to fruition the way I wanted it to until I was reading "The Finishing School" by Val Woerner. She has a chapter about hosting and the quote that stuck out to me was something along the lines of "hosting isn't about people leaving your home feeling better about you, it's about leaving your home feeling better about themselves."
As long as your event has good food and places for people to sit then that's really all that maters! So I ditched all of my cutesy little food ideas and forewent spending exorbitant amounts of money on decorations and went with Costco and Walmart, and a few homemade touches :)

My mom painted this sign for the entry. And it now hangs in his room!

 Who needs an expensive custom made cake? Costco Cake + Red Vines equals crazy delicious!(anyone get that reference?)

We asked people to dress in theme by wearing their best Mr. Rogers style Cardigan.
My "Raising Tomorrow" shirt is from Ford & Wyatt.

He burned his little finger on the candle right before we sang to him so he cried all the way through his birthday song :'(

I lucked out and found this little mini cake at a local grocery store the morning of his birthday. I knew they usually had them, but I there was only one generic cake and the rest were graduation!

Our friends and family blessed us with so many sweet gifts and letters.
I wouldn't wish being president on my worst enemy but it's fun to think of his future achievements, dreams and talents!

I hope you enjoyed this glimpse at our fun, colorful 1st birthday party for our baby boy!
And I leave you with this:
It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood
A beautiful day for a neighbor
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
It's a neighborly day in this beautywood
A neighborly day for a beauty
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you
I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you
So let's make the most of this beautiful day
Since we're together, we might as well say
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won't you be my neighbor?
Won't you please
Won't you please
Please won't you be my neighbor?

All Dogs Go To Heaven: A Tribute to a Beloved Dog

To Dear Remi Sue, Our Beloved Family Dog:

When you first came into my life as an adorable puppy, I didn't like you.

I was a sophomore in college, home for the summer. I had never had a pet, and I thought dogs were gross and sometimes scary.

I was less than thrilled with a furry little creature that chewed things, licked me and jumped on me on occasion. Even though you were pretty cute.

Flash forward several months and this girl, who didn't like dogs, is home for Christmas break and sharing the couch with you for the night. Never thought I'd be waking up face to to face with a dog, but you won me over, along with our entire neighborhood.

You were a good hunter, and companion. You were brave, full of energy and a lover of people, other dogs, and food.

There are too many great memories of you to share, but I would like to recall a few:

The time you were a puppy and you ran and jumped on my head while I was taking a nap.

The time you were deathly afraid of the water while we were camping, but you bravely jumped into a raft on shore, because you wanted to be with us and you knew you had to go into the water to get there.

 

The time I caught you running around in the neighbor's yard, playing with their dog on my way home from work, and quickly ushered you into the my car before they saw.

The time my brothers were chasing you around with Nerf Guns and you were so scared you leaped into my arms.

The time you ate all the Christmas cookies and earned the nickname "The Christmas Pig"

The time you got sprayed by a skunk and also earned the nickname "Skunk Dog"

The times you pulled me up the hill on our family walks.

The time you destroyed a stuffed duck (go beavers!)

 

Your love for chasing a good tennis ball and swimming in the creek.

Yes, you were a good dog.

You brought our family much joy, and with much joy came much pain when you left us.

I'm sorry that after I had my baby I didn't pay as much attention to you anymore.

I'm sorry that while I was figuring out how to be a mom I was stressed and grumpy with you.

You were always curious and gentle around babies.

I'm sorry I wasn't around to say goodbye to you.

If I had known the last time I saw you was going to be the last time, I would have given you a big hug, and pet you, and kicked the ball for you and shared some of my food with you.

Rest in Peace Remi Sue...Actually somehow doesn't seem fitting.

No matter what people may say, I believe all animals go to heaven.

All dogs go to heaven.

I hope you aren't resting right now Remi.

I hope you are running around in the grass right now.

I bet you've already tired Jesus out throwing the tennis ball for you.

Psalm 36:3 says:

"Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, your justice like the great deep.

 You, Lord, preserve both people and animals."

Goodbye Remi Sue, I know I will see you again someday.

Remi Sue

April 2008-July 2018

Racial Reconciliation and Freedom in Christ

I have this post in my mind for a while, and the last few weeks have been busy and I've been out of routine and I just did not get around to writing it in time to hit publish on the 4th of July.

The background of the picture I used above, is the result of a failed craft project.

Many people today feel that our nation, is the result of a failed experiment; "true democracy does not work, and we are not running a true democracy anyway." Is what I hear over an over.

It is very apparent that our country seems to be extremely divided today. Religion, Race, Economy, Education, Politics--all things that divide us. These things are not new to the rest of the world. Our country is fairly young. Conflict and division has manifested itself all over the world since Eve took the apple at the beginning of creation. I recognize, I may have just lost some of my readers with that statement (all 4 of you, haha). Or in the very least, received some eye rolls.

I admit, at times I fall to the pressures of our world and become overwhelmed and exhausted by all of the division, hate and fear. I fall prey to the idol worship of our government. But I know the truth: our government is not God. Our government is made up of imperfect people. I do not look to our Government to save us. They can't. And at risk of exposing my, perhaps, ignorant paranoia: I don't trust our government. I'm not just referring to our current government, all government, everywhere. 

I trust God.

I know God is good.

I know Jesus came to save, not to condemn.

Jesus forgave those who put him on the cross...immediately, not years after.

Jesus is love--unconditional love.

There is a lot of misinformation in this world about what Christianity is, but this is the bottom line.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and love your neighbor as yourself.

Even your "hippie, liberal, arrogant, ignorant" neighbors.

Even your "gun-toting, bible thumping, conservative, ignorant" neighbors. 

Even your noisy neighbors. Even your "trashy" neighbors. Even your uneducated neighbors. Even your rich neighbors. Even your foreign neighbors. 

Even your hateful neighbors.

I have been praying for God to "unsettle me". I have been praying for God to reveal things to me and in the last couple months God has placed "Racial Reconciliation" in the church, on my heart. He led me to a podcast called "United We Pray" hosted by Isaac Adams and Trillia Newbell. In "United We Pray" they discuss topics of racial division with various guests coming from many different perspectives and they end each episode by praying together.

I don't know how to solve racial division, inequality and injustice in our nation, let alone our world.

I am human.

God is not.

So I pray.

Here is what God has laid on my heart through this:

1. My perspective is not everyone's perspective. 

There is always more to the story. I have not witnessed much racism in my lifetime; that doesn't mean that it is not happening. That doesn't mean I should bury my head in the sand and pretend it's not happening. The principal of my school once gave me an analogy she uses when she is problem solving with students and families: Everyone tells their side of the story without interruptions, then she holds up a giant (fake) diamond and asks them what they see. Of course everyone has a different description of what the diamond looks like, because diamonds are multifaceted. It looks different depending on what angle you are viewing it from, and your view of the diamond is not wrong, but it's not the entire view. 

Challenge yourself to seek ways to see and learn things from others' perspective. 

2. Listen & Affirm.

 Do I like it when people write me off because I believe in God? Do I want people to support me when injustice falls on me? Do I want people to listen to me and know my heart? 

So I am choosing to stand with my brothers and sisters of different ethnicity and cultures and say "I hear your, I believe you, how can I help?" When I don't have the opportunity to have those discussions, and receive that information, I pray:

"God, how can I help?"

3. God created us different, and God's creation is beautiful.

This is not a new perspective for me, but one that I want to emphasize.

Our differences are on purpose.

So I challenge you, Christian or not, pray for racial reconciliation, pray for God to give you vision.

Pray, Pray, Pray and see how God changes your heart.

And while you're at it, give "United We Pray" a listen.

Finally, in theme with the Holiday, I leave you with the verse I started with:

"Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is Freedom."

2 Corinthians 3:17

Freedom is why we celebrate Independence Day. We were free from British Rule. We were free to worship God in the way the bible teaches. We are still free to speak to choose our religion and openly share it. We have freedom of speech. We have freedom to disagree. We have freedom to peaceably assemble. We have freedom to pursue our desires.

Do all truly feel free in our country? No.

I know this: We are free in Christ.

We are free from feeling alone.

We are free from being offended.

We are free from harboring bitterness.

We are free from holding on to shame.

We are free from disappointment. 

We are free from entitlement.

Do we still feel these things? 

Yes!

But we do not have to hold on to them. We can choose freedom in Christ.

We can choose to forgive, we can choose to let go.

We can be free in Christ, even when we are not physically free.

I am not ingenious, I am not a clever writer, these revelations are not new.

I am positive that I have many typos in this post.

My only hope is, that if you made it through this whole post, that you are challenged to pray, to seek out those who are different from you, to learn to fellowship, to solve. I hope you listen to "United We Pray". I hope you study God's word and learn the ways of Jesus.

I pray for racial reconciliation in the church and in the world.

I pray that you all experience true freedom in Christ.

Grace in Peace be with you and Happy, Belated, Independence Day!

30th Birthday Party Prom

30 Balloons: Amazon // Backdrop: Amazon

I turned 30 this May! I love getting dressed up, let's face it, I'm extra! So for my birthday party I rented a banquet room at our local Elks Lodge and threw a prom!

Dress: Nordstrom Rack // Belt: Amazon // Blazer: Amazon // Backdrop: Amazon

My husband & I met in college and we weren't even in high school at the same time, so it was fun to get to have "prom" together! He even indulged me and wore an outrageous blazer to match my dress and color theme for the party. And crazy story about my dress: I got it at Nordstrom Rack, for 1 penny!! I thought they were joking when they rang me up, but I guess that's a thing at Nordstrom Rack??

Funny story about the above pictures: The first time I met all of my husband's family, back when we were first dating, was at his birthday gathering. His oldest brother made me carry out Joel's cake to him while everyone sang and I remember being so embarrassed, because 1) I just met them all and 2) I just kept thinking "what if we break up & I'll be in all of these birthday photos now!" Well good think it worked out! 10 years later and he's holding my cake for me while everyone sang happy birthday!




 I had such a blast! I am so thankful to my family and friends that came and celebrated with me and helped me pull everything together.
30's going to be a party! :)
Cheers!

Hello Spring: Inspirational Bible & Prayer Resources

Hello all & Happy Spring! Long time no talk! I've been lazy about blogging in the past couple of months. I've had ideas for posts, but then I never sat down and took the time to write it out. I took the above picture over a month ago at a time that my new coffee table was styled and clean. I thought I would share with you today some products that I've been using lately to help encourage my prayer life and day to day walk with God. 

Here's my stack of resources. It looks like a big stack,  but it's not all something I necessarily use every day, but I am enjoying them, not only are they inspirational and useful, but they are pretty to look at. I'll just list and explain each thing & link it starting from top to bottom.

1. Val Marie Paper Yearly Prayer Journal 

This prayer journal is has really helped my prayer life. It has categories to prompt your prayers and list them. It is divided up by month and at the end of each month there is space to record answered prayers. It also includes sections for quotes and scripture, gratitude, and jounaling. For me, it has helped me to organize my prayers and break it into manageable chunks. Before I was trying to pray for everything, every day. It would take me over half an hour to do and often times I would forget about things I wanted to pray for because I wasn't writing them down, it was all in my head. Then when I took the time to pray, sometimes I would get discouraged and give up because it took me so long and I had lost motivation. Val Marie Paper offers not only inspired products, but a community that helps to encourage one another and share ideas in helping your payer life. I have been able to start dividing my prayers up by days, helping me not to get overwhelmed with the pressure of praying for everything, every day. By doing this, I have been able to organize my thoughts better, and God has actually revealed more things to me to pray for, and evolved some of the things I was already praying for. My prayer life has greatly improved and I look forward to my prayer time. Even on those days where I am not feeling motivated, I can just look at the things on my list, and just say them out loud, and sometimes it sparks something more. Unfortunately, the yearly prayer journal is currently sold out, but there are 6 month prayer journals and other products that are inspirational and helpful as well--and it doesn't hurt that they are pretty :) 

2. Blank Journal by Bari J. Designs

I actually found this journal randomly at a gift store, and you can't get them on the website, but I thought I would share the artist with you. I was so excited when I found a set of 3 blank journals with her artwork on it, because she is one of my favorite artists! 

3. The Holy Bible: New International Version

No link here, I just got this at a Christian book store many years ago, I great find in my favorite color!

4. Jesus Calling

This is a daily devotional by Sarah Young that focuses on finding peace from anxiety and worries in Jesus Christ. It is a short blurb with the related scriptures written out below. I love this because I have often struggled with anxiety in my life, and when you're in a hurry in the morning, it's convenient to have the scriptures listed there so you don't have to look them up.

5. Graceland Book

This is a beautiful devotional book by Ruth Chou Simons. It's not a daily devotional, but it is a devotional. Her beautiful artwork is on every page, and she explores the seasons of life through the seasons of the earth. 

6. Life:Beautiful Magazine

This is a quarterly Christian magazine publication. It is Beautiful, just like the name! I leave them on my coffee table, because not only are their covers beautiful, but right now I am following a scripture reading plan through the season of Lent leading up to Easter that they provided. The magazine is full of beautiful artistic images, ideas, and interesting information.

Bonus Reads

7. Blessed are the Misfits 

A book by Brant Hanson. This book is not actually pictured in my stack, but I just finished reading it and I LOVED it!! I think everyone should read it whether you have ever felt like a misfit in church or not. If you have felt like a misfit, this book will affirm your faith, and if you haven't, maybe if will help you understand the different personalities in your church a little better! I am so inspired after reading book.

8. 100 Illustrated Bible Verses

Not pictured, but currently on my coffee table. My mom gave me this book for Easter quite a few years ago. It's just a pretty book of illustrated bible verses. It's great to just pick up and read a quick verse before heading out the door!

And, in case you were wondering, here's what my coffee table looks like in real time :)

If you're on Spring Vacation like I am, I hope you are getting some rest and enjoyment!

Happy Wednesday!