I while back, I attended a class at my church in which my pastor posed the question:
"Do you have the tendency to 'cocoon' into your 'church' friends?"
At the time, I pridefully answered no.
Throughout my life, I've struggled to find where I fit in. Even having been raised in the church, I have often felt like I was on the outside looking in.
While I've never turned away from God, I have definitely felt bitter toward the church at my inability to find my niche. I have, however, also been bitter toward my friends outside of the "church" community. I've felt left out, or made to feel different than them. I've always struggled with feeling like there is something about me that is not interesting or fun enough to be apart of someone's "inner circle".
I've been pondering the question lately, and doing some "soul searching" and I had the revelation that the actual answer to this question for me is that I cocoon into MYSELF. I am stingy with my time and I hold back my true self quite often for fear of coming off awkward or stupid.
As I have begun this journey of cocooning into God, he is working on bringing me out and turning me into a butterfly.
The more I press into the God, the less I fear, the less anxiety I have, the more bold and creative I feel. I am learning to be my true self, and that true self is someone who is more willing to say "YES!" and take risks and be more giving of myself.
Just as a caterpillar becomes new life, a butterfly, Christ longs to do something new in each of us.
Ecclesiastes 3:11
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
2 Corinthians 5:17
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"
Thank you God for doing new things in me!
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| Photo credit and inspiration due to my mom, who spent a lovely day with me attending a lavender farm and festival :) |
