I'm having a really tough time with this one right now. I know there is going to be a lot of full time jobs opening up in the next couple of months and I have already applied for a couple. I just feel still hurt and bitter over my experience with applying for jobs last year, even thought I did get a part time job. I guess since it was only a .25 position, my pride makes me feel like a failure. Lately I go back and forth from being depressed & bitter and despairing about my future job opportunities to feeling excited about all of the ideas I have and the possibilities. I am definitely all over the place. I struggle with anxiety and just the thought of the unknown and having to put myself out there and possibly being rejected again and again makes my stomach fill with butterflies. Something as a little as working on updating my resume before any jobs were even open to apply for fills with me with anxiety and ruins my night. It's a day to day battle right now. It's hard to make your heart and your head match up sometimes. I know that God is in control, and I am thankful for the opportunities he has given me, but sometimes I still get bitter and doubt. God must be teaching me a lesson on patience and humility!
If anyone else is struggling with the same feelings of anxiety and inadequacy I pray that you will allow God to lift you up and have faith that He holds tomorrow, as I pray this for myself as well!
Good Night!
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